Food Porn - grilled herb crusted chicken and bean salad

Was feeling very mediterranean today. This is what happened.

Herb Crusted Grilled Chicken

1 TBSP olive oil

1 TBSP greek or middle eastern herb mix

1 TBSP red wine vinegar

1 chicken breast cut into two 3 oz. pieces

marinate for 1 hour then grill. I used my lovely cast iron grill pan because it was too friggin cold outside.

Mediterranean Bean Salad

1 can white bean (I used butter beans) drained, rinsed

2 TBSP reduced fat Feta Cheese

1/4 C fresh oregano, rinsed and chopped

about 6 kalamata olives diced

5 pieces of bottled artichoke hearts packed in oil.

1 TSP greek herb mix

1 TSP red wine vinegar

1 TSP olive oil

mix and chill. nice and simple.

That last thing on the plate is zucchini and mushrooms, chopped and sauteed in a non-stick pan with Pam and topped with a shave of parmesan cheese.

I should probably run the numbers but I didn't.

disguised victories

The last time I had a period was last year - in May. That one like all of the others that I have had since at least 1999 have been Provera-induced. I take 10 days of the the progesterone supplement Provera and then about 3 days later, I have a period. It's usually long and miserable but it gets the job done.

Step back to my marriage with Steve. We decided to get married on May 1st and then actually did it on May 15th. Yes, 2 weeks. We decided that we wanted a kid and married, I would be on his insurance and see an infertility specialist. So that is what we did. I went to Dr. Fahimi. We went through lots of cycles and bloodwork and stuff that no girl should have to do before she finally told me that I none of this stuff was working because I was too fat and she wouldn't help me further until I lost weight. Now, okay, I get it but then it was hurtful and mean and I hated her for it. Since then, I have gotten divorced, dated then remarried. Kenny and I have wanted a child but I didn't want to go through the infertility stuff again. I knew in my heart that Dr. Fahimi was right even though she was a bitch about it. Some of you know my failed adoption story so we aren't looking to get into that again. This leaves us with loosing weight. That's when Gastric Bypass came into play. My health and well being was the biggest determining factor for having RNY but second came the baby thing. I know at 35, I am running out of time. Third reason, I want my ass to look good in jeans again! Too few people admit to vanity as one of the reasons but I'm just trying to be honest.

About 2 weeks ago, my boobs were killing me. I kept them locked up in my padded bra (it has to be padded b/c I have no boobs otherwise. dammit!) under the safety of the foam but when I took it off, they just ached. A couple of nights, I had to actually sleep with my bra on. Those who know me know that is a fate worse than death! Fast forward to yesterday.... I started my period. I must have ovulated 2 weeks ago. OMG!!! That must have been what that pain was. Right now, I am in so much pain from cramps and just overall feeling like poop but I am so joyful. Part of me feels like a woman again. The maternal side of me sees hope.

I came to grips with my infertility a long time ago. I don't get upset when the people around me get pregnant. I don't define myself by if I do or do not have a child. I can go to baby showers and be okay. Kenny and I really enjoy each other so being just "Missy and Kenny" for the rest of our lives is okay with me..... however, it is still nice to know that it is now a possibility.

It's the most wonderful time.....

Yes, friends. Spring is here. Since I live in Nashville, it is time to get this gardening party started! Today I am heading out to prep one of the beds. I need to plant my peas this week.

Here is what I think we are growing this year!

tomatoes

cucumbers

2 herb gardens (one with rosemary, sage, oregano, parsley, cilantro, dill, and whatever else I can squeeze in there and the the other one will be the basil garden. I will do regular basil, thai basil, globe basil which are absolutely adorable and maybe some other basil I find at the garden center)

sugar snap peas

snow peas

zucchini and summer squash

peppers (green, thai, jalapenos)

my sunflower patch will be a pumpkin patch this year

green beans

this still leaves room for a few more things. Not sure what else I would like to do. I'll have to hit the seed aisle to see if something strikes my fancy.

Here's to dirty fingers and sun-kissed noses! Man, I love spring.

transitions

It's been a little bit since I have posted. I am currently just short of 12 weeks post op. I had my 3 month follow up visit last Wednesday. My official weight was 256. I was at 307 the day of surgery. That puts me at 51 pounds lost. I was in a tight 26/28 pants and shirts and now I am down to a 18/20 in shirts and a 20 or 22 in pants. I cannot begin to tell you how different I feel - or not. Some days, I feel like the same old fat girl and some days I feel like a size 12. I am sure I will adjust.

Right now I am in a transition stage. I have been moved to a pretty much regular diet. I can eat most things. I still don't eat "white' things like potatoes, bread, rice or things made with white flour. I can, but I don't. I am able to get my protein in. My water is going nicely. I still have bad days with food. I try to eat something and my body is like "wait! Hold the phone! Not right now!". Hmm. okay. We'll try again later. I have also learned that I can handle skim milk. I religiously drink two 8 oz. glasses a day. That gets me about 20 grams of protein and is helping me make my goal of 70 a day. I still struggle with dense meats so no beef or chicken really. I can handle deli roast beef with cheese. I pack those for lunch often. I can handle chicken from the chinese restaurant in a light sauce. We've done that a few times. Other than that, nah, I'll pass. I am now transitioning from the post-op girl who dreads even going NEAR that hospital to the one that must now learn how to live NORMAL.

I have always had a love affair with food. I don't know if it is the taste or the creative jolt it gives me or the nostalgia factor. Something has made me love it. My mission now is to find ways to eat normal food but modifying it so that it fits our new needs imposed by our rerouting.

I am inspired by Shelly (go to the website "the world according to eggface" to see what I mean). I am going to try my hand at this. Hopefully this will be a chance to spark my creativity that I have needed for a while.

my first gym experience

As a singer, I have always had great breath support.  I'm not (usually) one of those fat folks that get winded after a little physical activity.   With that being said, all of that goes out the window after this surgery.

Back when we lived in Florida, Kenny and I worked out religiously.  We felt great... healthy and strong and powerful.  Life happened and we stopped going.  One of our big goals with this surgery was to make sure that we were doing it for the right reasons and that we meant it.  It is a huge commitment and we need to make sure that we were going to honor all of the hard work that we have put into it.  I even took a self-induced job cut so that I could take care of myself better but that's a whole 'nother story.

Since I am 3 weeks out, I decided that it was time to get back into the physical activity world.  Last week, I was able to walk around Wal*Mart without the little wheelie cart.  Granted, I was a bit worn out and I had to go sit down while Kenny went through the line, but I made it.   Yesterday, I decided that I was going to go to the gym.  We've had memberships for a while.  We really do enjoy going but when you work 10 hour days, it doesn't always happen like you want it to.  So I went in and got on the treadmill.  I walked exactly a mile and felt so strong afterwards.  I could only get my speed up to 1.9 MPH but at least I did it.  I haven't been cleared to go over to the weights yet.  Dr. Brandon says I should be able to go there after another week.  I gotta "take it easy" but at least I can do it.  

I have went back and forth about having this surgery for years.  I am so glad that I did it.  It was a huge step and it hasn't been easy but I feel so good about  my choice. 

Kenny's doctor appointment

Since I am still off work, I went with Kenny today to do his pre-op stuff.  He was scheduled to go into surgery on Feb. 12 but now they have moved him up a week to Feb.5.  Holy shit.  This may change a few things.  First and foremost, I was scheduled to go back to work on Feb. 2.  I think it will be silly to go back for 2 days and then take off another week to take care of him.  Sooo... I've already talked to my boss but I need to change my FMLA return date.  

I think the change of date kinda freaked him out a bit but he will be okay.  

On a good note, while they were weighing him in, I did mine too.  When I went into surgery I was at 307.  As of today, I am at 278.  I have lost almost 30 pounds in 3 weeks.  Again, I about cried when I saw the little slip that had my weight and BMI on it. (I seem to be doing a lot of that crying thing... I think it's because estrogen is stored in the fat and gets released in weight loss.... at least that is what I am blaming it on).   My BMI is a 43.  That just blows my mind.  

I can do this. 

three weeks... plus a couple of days

Tuesday was the 3 week anniversary of the surgery.  I was going to post then but then our computer took a crap.  I think the fan went out.  Lucky for me, I am married to a computer SUUUPER genius so it is all better now.  

...and now back to what I should have written on tuesday.....

I am 3 weeks out.  Things are getting much better.  I have finally progressed on to some solid-ish foods.  everything is still pureed but I can at least tell that the stuff was at one time food that normal people would have eaten.   Tonite, I had my version of a hamburger.   I took ground up very lean burger, pureed a dill pickle, and added a touch of mayo and mustard and ate it with a spoon.  It was the best "almost burger" ever.    I am also seeing a lot of changes in my body.  dents where there used to be curves and bones where there was fat before.  It is an all-new feeling for me.  I did have to go get a few new shirts though.  I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to do a new wardrobe each month, but at some point, all of the fat clothes just make ya feel bad.  Most of my shirts are Lane Bryant 26/28.  I was actually able to just buy a couple of cheapo shirts from Wal*Mart in a size 18/20.  I tried them on in the kitchen when we got home and ended up just standing there crying on Kenny's arm.  Unfortunately for me, the bottom is not loosing as quick.  Well, let me rephrase that.... my legs are loosing lots and my ass ain't looking to bad either.  However my gut is taking it's old sweet time.  I am still able to comfortably wear my pants still.  The legs all look huge though.  Oh well,  I can't have it all!